the thing with the other thing

Y’know, I was going to write out another long thing like I did for the Reichenbach Fall, but I couldn’t get my thoughts in order better than the Doctor. That would, in fact, be my point: I watch Doctor Who not because I like scifi alien time travelling but because it’s full of hope and love and acceptance and beauty.

I’ve tried to explain to non-Whovians why Vincent and the Doctor is my favorite episode only to be met with blank stares.

  • It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.
    - Cinematography?
    - Well yes also that but the plot and the quotes and, yes, aesthetically.
  • It makes me cry.
    - Out of sadness or happiness?
    - Yes.
  • I would have stayed with Vincent.
    - …what?
    - I would have given up my life with the Doctor to stay with Vincent.
    - He commits suicide.
    - The pile of good outweighs the pile of bad.
  • It’s full of hope and joy.
    - …he kills himself.
    - It’s beautiful!
    - How is it hopeful and joyous? Van Gogh was horrifically depressed and misdiagnosed his entire life.
    - Because the complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.
    - What?
    - It’s not dark and black and without character. Shining, burning, bursting through: the stars!
    - I don’t understand.

Then I give up. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s still the most beautiful thing in the world.

Yesterday I went on an Adventure and I forgot my anti-anxiety medicine. I was twoish hours away from home, sitting on the floor of a yarn shop, nearly in tears because I was so scared. On top of the anxiety from my messed up brain chemistry, there was the overwhelming fear that I had let everyone down and everyone was going to be mad at me and I wasn’t worth anything because I couldn’t do the simplest of tasks.

But I’m important.

So. Even if things get screwy, I’m still important. And yes, hearing a man with giant ears or sticky up hair or a bowtie and fez tell me that, it means everything.

Beneath the scifi alien time travelling, Who is about people and beauty and mattering-ness. The show is so much more than some campy, hyped-up fandom with in-jokes and silly quotes. Don’t blink; Are you my mummy?; Count the shadows; EXTERMINATE!: all good, but not the point.

It’s love. It’s helping. It’s Doctoring.

I think, when we say that it’s bigger on the inside, we’re not really talking about the TARDIS.

…stupid Who making me sound ridiculous with stupid clichés that diminish my not-at-all-stupid point

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